For generations, women have been fighting.

We protested and pushed and fought for the most basic of rights.

The right to be recognised as individual people in our own right.

The right to decide what happened to our own bodies.

Women were institutionalised, labelled “feebleminded” and sterilised without their consent.

And for women of colour, every one of these fights came with the added weight of racism.

And we kept pushing.

The right to vote. The right to study. The right to wear trousers.

For the right to belong to ourselves.

To own property. To control our own money. To make decisions about our own lives.

Pushing for the right to enter professions that had once been closed to us. The right to build careers of our own.

And still we pushed.

Pushing to be taken seriously. Pushing to prove that we belonged in rooms we were once excluded from. Pushing to be equals.

All that fighting and pushing. For a seat at the table.

Each generation faced a new set of challenges.

Our great-grandmothers fought for rights we’re now lucky enough to take for granted.

Our grandmothers fought for more choices.

Our mothers fought to be taken seriously and to progress in workplaces that were never built with them in mind.

And we inherited the choices generations before us had fought so hard for.

More freedom. More opportunity. More ways to shape our own lives.

We became the poster girls of the girlboss era.

Having it all. Doing it all. Building careers, climbing the corporate ladder while raising families and carrying more mental load than we know what to do with.

Wearing our burnout like a badge of honour.

We broke through the glass ceiling.

And now we’re picking up the pieces.

Wondering whether we even want a seat at the table anymore.

Not because we take all that we now have for granted.

Not because we suddenly stopped being ambitious.

But because we’re wondering how we’re supposed to make it all work.

How we’ll make it work if we choose to start or grow a family.

Or how to live with the guilt when we already have one and feel like we’re not around enough.

Feeling like we have to choose.

The career or the family.

Some of us realising that maybe we want to choose. But somehow, choosing now feels like failing.

Then there are those of us who want neither.

And we’re carrying a different kind of judgement altogether.

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Whatever our dreams look like, it feels to me like we’re all asking the same question.

Quietly or loudly.

Questioning whether the title, the promotion and the additional income are worth the cost when we’re already running on empty.

Struggling to keep up. Nervous systems in overdrive.

Realising that once we finally slow down, we don’t know what to do without the chaos.

How did we get here?

And what comes next?

A year or two ago, stepping back felt like something no one said out loud. It was almost unheard of.

“What would I even do if I didn’t work?” I’d say.

My title was part of my identity. I wasn’t sure who I was without it.

Now, more and more women are stepping away openly. Proudly, even.

I keep finding myself thinking…

What will our lives look like in a year’s time?

Three years?

Ten?

Will more of us leave corporate jobs?

Will we feel ready to go back after taking a break?

Will we redefine what success looks like?

Will we find a better way to balance our careers with the rest of our lives?

I wish I knew.

Because, if I’m honest, I find the uncertainty of what comes next a little… unsettling.

Something has shifted.

I just don’t know where we go from here.

Maybe that’s why this feels like a conversation we need to have.

We broke the glass ceiling. Now what?

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Other happenings at The Girl Nook this week

Mahjong suddenly seems to be everywhere, so naturally I had to investigate and talk about it.

We have a Book Club!

The Girl Nook Book Club starts Crescent City today! Perfect for anyone (im)patiently waiting for ACOTAR 6 who still hasn’t ventured into the Crescent City universe.

P.S. Book 1 aka House of Earth and Blood is currently 34% off on Kindle and 47% off in paperback 👀📚 - get it here!

Join us on Fable →

If this resonated with you, then this space is already becoming what I hoped it would.

The Girl Nook is a place for honest conversations about life, growing up, relationships, and everything we’re all quietly figuring out together.

I’d love for you to stick around.

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Until a few days ago, I thought Mahjong was just a digital tile matching game I grew up playing on my computer (and now on my phone).

You know the one. There’s a screen full of little patterned tiles, some of them not easily accessible, and you match identical ones until they all disappear.

But it turns out that’s Mahjong Solitaire.

And it’s an entirely different game to the one everyone is suddenly playing around beautifully decorated tables with real tiles, snacks and cocktails.

Over the last week or so, I noticed a lot of posts on my Instagram feed mentioning Mahjong, and someone also mentioned it’s been trending on Etsy lately, which felt like a final confirmation that something is going on and I am most likely missing out.

So I took to Notes and decided to ask the wonderful Substack community what it is I was missing out on. Here’s what some of you had to say.

Kyra kept it simple: “I don’t know why that’s happening, but Mahjong is fun.”

Rae confirmed that it is huge right now, particularly among the millennial mum community.

And Staci from Millennial AF is really onto something here because she’s been playing it in a pool.

Naturally, I also decided to do some more research of my own. Here’s what I found out.

First, what actually is Mahjong?

Mahjong is a four-player, tile-based game that originated in China during the 19th century. Players take turns drawing and discarding tiles while trying to build a winning hand.

The matching game many of us played on computers, long-haul flights and now on our phones simply uses Mahjong tiles but it is not the same game.

There are many different versions of Mahjong, with rules varying across different cultures. The four main variants seem to be Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese and American mahjong.

And while mahjong might suddenly feel new to people like me, it most certainly isn’t. According to National Geographic, it has been played across China and Asian communities for generations. It also became an important part of Jewish American women’s social lives. After reaching the United States in the 1920s, the National Mah Jongg League was founded in New York in 1937.

There is also a very familiar story hidden in its history.

Women who played mahjong were once criticised for supposedly neglecting their domestic responsibilities and wasting their time. In her book Mahjong: A Chinese Game and the Making of Modern American Culture, historian Annelise Heinz explores how the game became associated with women who had “nothing better to do”, while poker was never similarly dismissed as a game for men with nothing better to do.

Funny how that works.

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So, why is everyone playing it now?

First of all, I’m not imagining things and it is not just my algorithm. Mahjong has apparently been having a moment for a while now.

According to Google Trends, interest in mahjong in the US alone has gone up by 50% over the last 5 years. Yelp has also reported that searches for mahjong clubs increased by 4,467%, while searches for lessons rose by 819%. Eventbrite also recorded a 179 per cent increase in American mahjong events between 2023 and 2024.

So why now?

People desperately want something to do that is not on their phones

We spend all day looking at screens.

We work on them, relax in front of them and then lie in bed scrolling through them while promising ourselves we are going to stop after one more video.

Mahjong gives people something physical to do with their hands while sitting around a table with other human beings. You have to pay attention. You have to look at the other players. You cannot quietly disappear into your phone halfway through.

There is something slightly ironic about discovering a screen-free hobby through social media, but perhaps that is exactly why it has taken off there.

It makes socialising easier

Making friends as an adult is difficult enough. Organising a dinner with people you barely know and then sustaining several hours of sparkling conversation can feel like an additional job.

A game gives everyone a reason to be there and something to focus on. You can talk while you play, but there is no pressure to fill every silence.

Mahjong clubs are increasingly becoming what people call a “third place”, somewhere to spend time that is neither home nor work. Much like the gym or a fitness class, you can arrive alone, learn the rules and immediately have a way to interact with everyone else at the table. It’s also a great way for people to find a new community.

Old-fashioned hobbies are having a moment

Mahjong is part of a much wider return to slower, more tactile hobbies.

People are learning to bake, crochet, embroider and make things with their hands. Book clubs are everywhere. Board-game cafés are thriving. We seem to be collectively craving activities that are social, creative and do not require another app.

Mahjong happens to combine all of that with a little strategy and competition.

Building and collecting the sets is part of the fun

You are no longer limited to one traditional set of tiles, and it’s not just the tiles that make up the game.

There are pastel sets, floral sets, brightly coloured sets, themed mats, racks, storage bags and entire tablescapes designed around the game. It has become a hobby, a social event and an interiors aesthetic all at once.

One of the biggest Mahjong brands, Oh My Mahjong, reportedly surpassed $30 million in annual revenue within three years. According to the company, it sells a mahjong mat every ten seconds.

That is a lot of mats.

And it explains why mahjong is suddenly all over Etsy, Instagram and the beautifully styled homes of people whose kitchens never appear to contain an overflowing recycling bag.

Celebrities are talking about it too

Julia Roberts has said she plays mahjong with her friends every week. Meghan Markle has shown herself playing with her “Mahj Squad”, while Sarah Jessica Parker and Amy Poehler have also spoken about learning the game.

Even Charli XCX is currently talking about Mah Jong in her song Card Declined, although hers is a sofa and has absolutely nothing to do with the game. But apparently, a Mah Jong Sofa is also a thing.

Fine. I’m influenced.

In the last 48 hours, I have watched several videos explaining how to play mahjong and currently understand approximately 12% of what is happening. I’m envisioning a mahjong night around my dining room table (though it’s round, can I still make it work!?) and am on a mission to learn more.

The sets are pretty, it gets people away from their phones, and it sounds like a really fun night in with the girls.

I’m sold.

My next step is to choose a cool set, buy it and convince three other people to learn with me. I have linked a few of the sets I am currently considering below, because if I am going to be influenced, I may as well enable the rest of you too.

Some of the sets I’m eyeing

If you’re in the market for a set, I’ve rounded up all the ones I’m loving in one place, and I’ll keep adding to the collection as I find more. I’ve listed a few of my favourites below, but you can browse the full collection here.

American Mahjong Tile Set - 168 Engraved Mah jongg Tiles Game Sets - $99

This one from Amazon seems to be the most reasonably priced option I’ve found so far, because these sets are not cheap!

Oh My Mahjong - Solara Starter Kit $665

And this one from Oh My Mahjong would be a proper splurge, but oh my God, it’s so pretty.

Planning a Mahjong Night?

One of The Girl Nook community members runs a beautiful Etsy invitation shop and has created this Mahjong & Margaritas invitation, which feels very fitting for this post.

It’s an editable Canva template, so you can personalise the event details for your own girls’ night. Honestly, if I manage to get my mahjong evening off the ground, this is exactly the kind of invitation I’d want to send.

Shop the invitation here!

Do you already play mahjong? Which version do you play? Can I see your set? Is it genuinely easy to learn, or am I going to need lessons? And, most importantly, how exactly does one play it in a pool?

Please tell me everything in the comments.

Some links in this post may earn me a small commission, at no extra cost to you. I only share things I genuinely like and think you might too.

If you love honest conversations about life, growing up and everything we’re all quietly figuring out together, you’ll feel at home here.

The Girl Nook is a cosy place for shared experiences, thoughtful recommendations and finding the fun in everyday life.

I’d love for you to stick around.

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Hello, nook girlies. It’s time for us to have some fun!

As I said in my welcome post, I want to talk about the real issues here on the girl nook. The things left unsaid, the questions we're quietly asking... but I also want to talk about the fun stuff too.

So, every month or so, but absolutely not on a schedule because who am I kidding? I do not need more deadlines in my life, I plan to drop an article like this where I can tell you what I've been loving lately! Basically, think of it as... things I’d share in the group chat.

Books

Anyone following me on Notes or in the subscriber chat knows I’m reading The Calamity Club by Kathryn Stockett because I basically won’t shut up about it.

It’s approximately 800 pages long and life has been hectic, so it’s taking me a while. But that kind of means I’m living in this Calamity Club bubble, and it’s become this safe space I go to at the end of a hard day. And I kind of don’t want it to end. God help the book hangover that will come once I get through this last 20%.

Before that, I read two of Taylor Jenkins Reid’s books. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (5*) and Atmosphere (4*, because it hurt my heart at some points). I devoured them both in a few days each, so I guess you can call these ones easy reads.

Beauty Ritual

Okay, time to bring some girliness to the girl nook!

I have been trying to grow my hair for as long as I can remember. I mean, I have good hair. It stops under my chest and is thick. And I have a lot of it. But I want MORE. Everyone wants more, right??

Anyway, at the start of the year, I found myself going down this Instagram and YouTube rabbit hole about hair oiling. The long and short of it is that you can mix your own hair oil using a range of oils depending on your hair porosity, but I decided to buy a ready-mixed one from Fable & Mane called the HoliRoots Hair Oil that works for all hair types. I’ll link it here.

You just put it on your roots once a week before washing your hair. You can leave it for a few minutes, but a few hours or overnight gives the best results.

While I don’t look like Rapunzel yet, I can safely say that one bottle in and around six months later, I have *a lot* of new growth. Lots of little new hairs coming through. My hair feels thicker and stronger, and I’ve received some nice comments about it.

Bonus: if you’re working from home or just have some time, while you have the oil on your roots, get some olive oil from your kitchen and put it on the lengths. Some people prefer coconut oil, so try different oils that are probably already sitting in your cupboard and see what works for you.

You’ll smell like a salad for a while, but once you wash your hair, you’ll have lovely shiny lengths. Make sure to double shampoo afterwards!

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TV

I’ve watched a few things on Netflix lately. First off, Beef. I’d somehow never heard of it before and it popped up on my home page after season two was released. Season one was SO good.

Season two was… not as good, especially because I watched them back to back and couldn’t help comparing them. It’s completely new characters and a new storyline.

Basically, I’d definitely recommend watching season one but try to keep your expectations lower for season two.

I also just watched the Shipwrecked: Nightmare at Sea documentary. Mind-blowing. It’s around an hour and a half, and I watched it in two sittings, which is actually a very good record for me because I sometimes split a movie into several parts because I can’t sit still. But this was so gripping.

It’s a good one for when you’re between series and want something you can finish fairly quickly. Highly recommend if you’re into that sort of stuff.

I’ve now moved on to The Cleaning Lady. I’m about four episodes in, but I’m hooked. I recognised one of the main actors from Designated Survivor. Love him. And I also love the main actress who plays the cleaning lady.

It’s still very early, so I have no idea what’s going to happen. So no spoilers please 👀

Movies

Okay, so like I said, I struggle with movies.

I struggle to sit down and sit still, and I usually end up splitting a movie into many parts, much to my boyfriend’s disappointment. (It took us a year and a half to get through The Lord of the Rings and we’re still getting through The Hobbit. We literally split one of the Lord of the Rings movies into ten sittings just because I cannot.sit.still.)

ANYWAY, this means you probably won’t get too many movie recs from me, but when I do have one, you know it’s good! We watched The Odyssey at the cinema last weekend. I went in slightly nervous because it was three hours long. But, WOW. What a good movie. Enjoyed all the familiar faces too. Love love Matt Damon and Anne Hathaway.

Fashion

I started the summer by discovering that basically most of my bottom clothes were… tight. So while living with the slightly uncomfortable reality that I now sit very awkwardly between sizes, it was time to pick up some new summer staples for my wardrobe.

Curating a seasonal wardrobe sometimes feels like a part-time job, and my summer fashion is really not it at the moment.

So I’m linking the pieces that have been saving me in this heat. If you’re also juggling a nine-to-five, a house renovation and the passion project that’s been on your mind for years, and just need some very easy fashion recommendations, these are for you:

• Simple halter neck flowy Zara dress with a low back. Perfect if you’re going out for dinner or just need to throw something on. Can be dressed up or down. Linked here.

• I’ve basically been living in these Levi’s mom shorts paired with these sliders.

• I’ve also hopped on the woven ballerina flat bandwagon and I loved this pair that I picked up. (They’ve also dropped in price since I picked them up!).

Something Sweet

This might be the most groundbreaking recommendation in this article. Snickers ice-cream. Oh my god. I usually go for Mars, but the shop was out, so I bought Snickers instead. Excuse me, what have I been missing out on all this time?

You might want to grab a box of six from your local store next time you’re there. Eat one after dinner on the couch with Netflix running. You’re welcome.

That’s all folks

I’ve actually had a lot of fun writing this. It genuinely felt like I was just yapping away in the group chat, telling my friends about all the random things I’ve been loving lately.

So I’ll probably keep doing these every now and then, assuming people enjoy this one and I’m not just talking to myself. Consider this volume one.

If you have any recommendations you think I’d like or have tried any of mine, let me know in the comments. Let’s chat!

The Girl Nook is a place for honest conversations about life, growing up, relationships, and everything we're all quietly figuring out together.

I’d love for you to stick around.

Subscribe below to join the conversation. 🤍

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When I asked you, the lovely community at the girl nook, what you wanted to read and talk about more, self-care was right at the top of the list.

Today is International Self-Care Day, so it felt like the perfect opportunity to share this bonus post with a little gift for you at the end.

What Does Self-Care Actually Look Like?

So... let’s talk a little bit about what self-care can actually look like. Because somewhere along the way, it became almost synonymous with face masks, long baths, candles and skincare routines. Which, by the way, are all great things.

But one thing that has become clear to me over the last few years is that self-care is way more than that. It isn’t always pretty. And sometimes, it requires a hell of a lot of discipline.

Sometimes, self-care is setting a boundary and knowing the other person might not like it.

It is saying no without writing three paragraphs explaining why.

It is quietly, maybe even just mentally, leaving the group chat, cancelling the plans or putting your phone on Do Not Disturb because you cannot take in any more noise.

It is making the appointment you have been avoiding.

It is opening the email, checking your bank account, doing the laundry or dealing with the boring life admin that has been sitting in the back of your mind for weeks.

Sometimes, it is asking for help.

Sometimes, it is finally admitting that you cannot keep doing everything by yourself.

And sometimes, it is having a difficult conversation because staying silent might feel easier in the moment, but it is making you feel worse in the long run.

Self-care is not always about making yourself feel better immediately.

Sometimes, it is choosing what will protect you, support you or make life a little easier for your future self.

Sometimes, Self-Care Can Feel Uncomfortable

Setting a boundary can make you feel guilty, even when you know it is reasonable.

Saying no can leave you worrying that you have disappointed someone.

Resting can feel uncomfortable when you are used to measuring your worth by how much you get done. (Rest is productive too, by the way.)

And stepping away from a person, job, habit or situation that is hurting you can come with a lot of feelings of guilt and confusion.

But something feeling uncomfortable does not automatically mean it is wrong.

Sometimes, discomfort is simply what happens when you start doing something differently. Especially when you are used to prioritising everyone else’s comfort before your own.

A lot of self-care is learning to let someone be disappointed.

It is accepting that not everyone will understand your choices.

It is resisting the urge to explain yourself over and over again until the other person finally agrees that your needs are valid.

Because your needs do not only become valid once someone else understands them.

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So What Do You Actually Need?

Self-care is not one-size-fits-all. And your self-care needs will change over time.

Sometimes, it is spending time alone. Other times, it is calling someone and admitting that you do not want to be alone.

Sometimes, it is getting out of the house. Other times, it is giving yourself permission to stay in.

It can be movement, rest, routine, silence, therapy, medication, creativity, food, sleep or simply putting fewer demands on yourself for one day.

There will be days when you need comfort and days when you need structure.

Days when you need to stop pushing yourself and days when caring for yourself means finally doing the thing you have been avoiding.

Maybe the real question is simply:

What do I actually need right now?

Not what looks good.

Not what everyone else seems to be doing.

Not what feels most productive.

What would genuinely help you feel a little more supported, rested or looked after?

Build Your Own Self-Care Toolkit

The answer will be different for everyone, which is why I created a Self-Care Essentials guide to help you build your own self-care toolkit.

It takes you through different forms of self-care and helps you think about the things that genuinely support you and enable to live the life you want to live.

The idea is to create something personal that you can come back to when you are struggling, overwhelmed or simply cannot think of what might help.

And because it is International Self-Care Day, I wanted to share the toolkit with you completely free.

Download the self-care toolkit here.

You do not have to complete it all at once. Start with one section, choose one thing you can do for yourself today and build from there.

If you download it and genuinely find it useful, I would love to hear what you added to your own toolkit or which part helped you most. It would mean a lot to me and help me create more resources like this in the future.

I’d also love to know… what’s one less obvious form of self-care you’ve had to teach yourself? For me, it’s saying no to things I don’t actually want to do.

Whatever self-care looks like for you today, I hope this helps you find one small way to look after yourself. 🤍

The Girl Nook is a place for honest conversations about life, growing up, relationships, and everything we're all quietly figuring out together.

I’d love for you to stick around.

Subscribe below to join the conversation. 🤍

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Navigating your twenties and early thirties can be a strange experience. Heck, navigating life can be strange. And fun, and interesting, and all the other beautifully messy things that make up a life. But it sure as hell can be confusing.

You go through so many different stages. Awkward ones where you don’t know where you fit. Years spent trying to find your place in the world, trying to find your people and trying to find yourself.

There are periods where you feel like you’re on top of the world.

And then there are others where you feel completely broken.

For me, one of the most useful things has been learning to look inward and understand why I am the way I am. Why certain things affect me so deeply. Why I repeat particular patterns. Why I react the way I do in certain situations.

Looking inward and discovering things about myself hasn’t always been comfortable, but it has helped me navigate so many parts of my life with a little more self-awareness and compassion for myself.

And somewhere along the journey that was my late twenties and early thirties, a handful of books found me at exactly the right time.

Books that gave me language for feelings I couldn’t quite explain and led to more than a few “aha” moments. They helped me connect dots I hadn’t connected before and understand parts of myself that had confused me for years.

Just a tiny disclaimer before we get into them: I’m not a therapist, coach or medical professional. These are simply books that helped me understand myself better, and I’m sharing them in case they might help someone else too.

So, for part one of this series, here are three books that helped me understand myself better.

1. Attached

By Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

I first learned about attachment styles when I was around 25.

I’d just started therapy during one of the hardest relationships I’d ever been through, and my therapist introduced me to the idea that the people we feel connected to, and the ways we connect with them, aren’t random.

I learnt about the three major attachment styles: secure, anxious and avoidant, and discovered that I leaned heavily towards anxious attachment.

At face value, it made sense.

But I don’t think I was ready to fully understand the why and how of it all at the time.

It wasn’t until a few years later that I picked up Attached.

I kept finding myself in the same cycle.

Mistaking inconsistency for chemistry.

Spending way too much time overthinking every interaction.

Looking for reassurance.

Wondering why relationships always seemed to leave me feeling emotionally exhausted.

Reading Attached didn’t magically change those patterns overnight, but it gave me a level of awareness I hadn’t had before.

It helped me understand why I kept gravitating towards certain people, why those dynamics felt so familiar, and why I found it so difficult to walk away from relationships that weren’t giving me what I actually needed.

Most importantly, it helped me realise that I wasn’t flawed. I was simply acting on patterns shaped by things I had experienced in the early years of my life. Patterns that, once I understood them, I could begin to work on and slowly change.

Healing my anxious attachment style took years, and honestly, it’s still something I continue to be mindful of today. Different situations can bring those patterns back to the surface, and not only in romantic relationships. But this book became one of the first stepping stones towards helping me navigate them.

Get the book on Amazon

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2. Welcome Home

By Najwa Zebian

If Attached helped me recognise my relationship patterns, Welcome Home helped me put words to something else I had been doing without fully realising the impact of it. Building my sense of home in other people.

I don’t say this lightly, but Najwa Zebian’s writing genuinely changed my life. And this won’t be the last book of hers that appears in this series.

There’s one quote from this book that has stayed with me ever since I first read it.

“When you build your home in other people, you give them the power to make you homeless.”

For so much of my twenties, I had unknowingly built my emotional home in other people.

If someone chose me, I felt safe.

If they loved me, I felt worthy.

If they pulled away, it felt like the ground disappeared beneath me.

I think so many of us do this without even realising.

We slowly hand other people the keys to our happiness, our confidence and our sense of home.

And when they leave, or change their minds, or stop giving us the love and reassurance we’ve come to depend on, we feel completely lost.

This book helped me understand the impact of placing my sense of safety, belonging and self-worth in someone else’s hands.

It reminded me that home was never supposed to be another person.

It was supposed to be me.

And honestly, I think that’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve ever learned.

Get the book on Amazon

3. Anxiety Rx

By Dr Russell Kennedy

Like many people, I’ve experienced anxiety for a long time. Sometimes in ways that have completely overtaken my day-to-day life. By the time I picked up Anxiety Rx, I already had a solid understanding of how anxiety showed up for me and which situations made it worse.

I had also read about the connection between anxiety and the body before, so the idea wasn’t completely new to me. But this was the book that made it land.

Anxiety Rx is fundamentally based on the concept that chronic anxiety is not just a mental state, but is often unresolved trauma that is stored in our bodies. Instead of seeing anxiety as something happening purely in our minds, he encourages us to pay attention to what is happening physically too.

The book also comes with practical ways of handling the sensation of anxiety in our bodies. One of those tools is something that the author calls the ABCs:

Awareness.

Breath.

Compassion.

Years later, it’s a technique I still go back to.

This book didn’t suddenly eliminate my anxiety. But it gave me tools to understand it better and help keep it at bay during stressful situations.

And I think that’s probably one of the biggest compliments I can give any book.

Get the book on Amazon

Until next time...

Looking back now, I can see that these books all found me at exactly the right time.

Attached helped me understand why I behaved in certain ways in relationships.

Welcome Home taught me that my sense of home had to come from within.

Anxiety Rx helped me understand and manage the physical sensations that came with my anxiety.

None of these books magically changed me overnight.

But each one helped me understand myself a little more, and I still go back to what I learnt from them to this day.

While we wait for Part Two, Books that Helped Me Become Myself, I’d love to know if there’s a book that has quietly changed your life.

Tell me in the comments. I’m always looking for my next read!

If you love books and honest conversations about life, growing up and everything in between, you’ll feel at home here.

The Girl Nook is a cosy place for shared experiences, thoughtful recommendations and the things we’re all quietly figuring out together.

I’d love for you to stick around.

Subscribe below to join the conversation. 🤍

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For a long time, I felt like I didn’t really belong anywhere.

Not always loudly, and not always in a way people could see. More in that quiet, uncomfortable way where you feel slightly out of place no matter where you are. Like everyone else seems to understand what box they’re supposed to fit in, and you’re still trying to work out where to put yourself.

When I was younger, it was loneliness in the simplest sense.

School was hard. I didn’t really have friendships that stuck until I was around 14, and for a long time, even into my twenties, I never quite felt like I fully belonged to any group of people.

And when you spend so many years feeling like you’re on the outside looking in, something about that stays with you for a while. Even when life changes. Even when you evolve. Even when you do eventually find your people.

Most of my closest friendships came in adulthood, and I’m so grateful for them. But for a long time, that feeling didn’t completely go away. It just changed shape.

In my twenties, I started coming into myself. I became more confident. I started working, building a career, figuring out who I was, and slowly becoming a version of me that I actually liked.

It didn’t happen overnight. It was more of a gradual and slightly uncomfortable realisation that I had been looking for acceptance to come from the wrong places. External ones.

And I did that for a long time.

I looked for validation in places that could never really give me what I needed. Wanting other people to make me feel like all the different parts of me made sense. I wanted to feel like I fit somewhere, like I was “chosen”, even if that meant trying to mould myself into something that didn’t quite feel like me.

And no matter how much I worked to improve myself, physically, mentally or emotionally, I kept finding myself giving my time and energy to situations where it never felt quite right. No matter how good I became at a hobby I was pursuing. No matter how successful I became in my career. I kept finding myself in places where I didn’t feel fully understood.

And quite frankly, I never fully understood them either, whoever they happened to be.

At work, I was often different to everyone else in the room. The only woman on the dev team. The youngest person in C-suite. Sitting around tables where I had to be confident, assertive and decisive. (But not too much, because then you’re being aggressive, but that’s a conversation for another time.)

Then outside of work, I’d be in completely different settings where I was the quiet one. Sometimes almost blending into the background.

And then came the personal milestones everyone else seemed to be moving through. People settling down. Getting married. Having babies. While I was single, still figuring myself out, and building a life that didn’t look exactly like the one I thought I’d have by then, but one I was still so proud of.

It wasn’t that I thought I was doing life wrong. I don’t think I ever felt that exactly.

It was more that I was very aware my life looked different.

And sometimes that difference felt lonely.

Like I was always slightly out of step. The confident one in one room, the quiet one in another. The one making difficult decisions at work, while secretly overthinking a text. The one people saw as too serious in the boardroom, but who also just really wanted to be silly and playful and laugh a little more.

For a long time, I think I believed all of those versions of me had to somehow become one neat, understandable thing.

Like I had to pick a mould and fit into it.

The career woman. The girly girl. The bookworm. The gamer. The ambitious one. The nice one.

But I could never quite do it. Because I’ve never been just one thing. And maybe that was what I had to learn.

There was a moment a few years ago when I realised I was starting to enjoy not fitting into one box.

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One of my best friends and I used to work together, and we were heavily into two completely different things: designer bags and Pokémon Go.

One Friday evening, after work drinks, we decided to walk to a Pokémon raid and it started pouring just as we got there.

We looked at each other. Then at our Gucci bags. Then back at our phones.

And we genuinely had a moment of wondering whether a virtual Pokémon was worth ruining an expensive handbag.

For the record, we stayed. No bags were harmed.

I remember us laughing while walking in the rain because it felt so ridiculous, but also so perfectly us. Two girly girls, trying to protect our bags while refusing to abandon a Pokémon raid.

It’s such a small, silly memory, but I think about it often and smile to myself.

Because I think it was one of the first times I thought to myself: I can be more than just one thing, and it’s fun!

I can love nice bags and still be a proud nerd. I can be a girly girl and love games. I can be assertive at work and still be kind. I can make tough decisions and still care deeply. I can be confident in one room and quiet in the next.

I can be serious and silly. Soft and ambitious. Visible and private.

None of those things cancel each other out.

They’re not contradictions I need to explain away.

They’re just me.

I’m not exactly sure when it clicked. I think it happened slowly. But at some point, I stopped needing every room I was in to validate every part of me.

I stopped waiting for other people to make me feel like I made sense, and I started trying to own who I really was.

The fact that I’m interested in lots of different things. That different people know different sides of me. That I don’t always show up the same way in every scenario. That I’m not easy to categorise.

For a long time, I think I wanted to be easier to understand.

Now I’m not sure I do.

Because maybe being a little difficult to categorise isn’t a flaw. Maybe it’s actually one of the most interesting things about us.

Maybe we don’t need to squeeze ourselves into one identity just to make other people understand us. Maybe we can be all of it.

I think I spent a lot of my life wanting to fit the mould.

Now I’m starting to wonder whether that was ever the point.

So I’m curious, have you ever felt like you didn’t quite fit into a particular box? I’d love to hear why in the comments.

If this made you feel a little less alone, then this space is already becoming what I hoped it would.

I'm building The Girl Nook into a place for honest conversations about life, growing up, relationships, and everything we're all quietly figuring out together.

I’d love for you to stick around.

Subscribe below to join the conversation. 🤍

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Nobody warned me that I could do everything right and still feel like the ground could slip out from under me.

For most of my life, I was sold a formula.

Study hard. Get the degree. Build your career. Be responsible with your money. Work harder than everyone else. Keep learning. Keep achieving. Climb that ladder.

Do all of that, and you’d have stability. You’d have success. A good life.

At least, that’s what many of us believed. And for most of my adult life, it felt true.

Lately though, I’ve come to a realisation that has left me feeling strangely unsettled.

You can do everything “right” and still find yourself wondering what happens if your company restructures. Or loses funding. Or changes direction. You can reach a point in your career that once felt impossibly far away and still quietly update your CV at night, just in case.

There’s so much going on in the world right now that this has become the reality for many people. I’ve watched talented people lose jobs they’d held for years. I’ve seen people spend months, sometimes even years, searching for their next opportunity. I've watched fresh graduates spend years studying, only to discover that getting a degree no longer guarantees the chance to even begin the career they worked so hard for.

I don’t think anyone prepared us for that.

Recently, I came across an article explaining a phrase I’d never heard before: doomjobbing.

It describes the anxiety-driven habit of constantly searching and applying for jobs, even when every application feels like it's disappearing into a void.

My first thought was simply, “So I’m not the only one.”

Not the only one quietly updating my CV. Not the only one scrolling job boards late at night. Not the only one preparing for a future I hope never arrives.

And maybe that’s the part that stayed with me most.

Because I don’t think the struggle is only about the economy. Or a recession. Or technology allowing companies to do more with fewer people than ever before.

I think it’s about the promise we were sold.

Many of us grew up believing that if we worked hard enough, made sensible choices and built successful careers, we’d eventually earn certainty. That we’d reach a point where we could finally exhale.

Instead, it often feels like we’ve become more aware of how fragile things can be.

Companies close.

Industries change.

Technology moves faster than any of us can keep up with.

People who seem incredibly successful are quietly networking, taking recruiter calls and keeping one eye on the exit, just in case.

On paper, you can have the career you once dreamed of.

Inside, you can still feel like the ground could shift beneath you at any moment.

I don’t have a neat conclusion for this.

I’m not writing this because I’ve figured it out.

I’m writing it because I suspect there are more of us feeling this way than we realise.

Maybe the answer isn’t to stop working hard, pushing forward, or planning ahead.

Maybe it’s to stop believing that uncertainty and setbacks mean we’ve somehow failed.

Perhaps the real lesson is that stability was never something we could earn by ticking every box.

Perhaps certainty was always more fragile than we were led to believe.

And if you’ve found yourself lying awake wondering whether you should update your CV, take that recruiter call, or prepare for a future you hope never arrives, I hope this reminds you of one thing.

You’re not the only one.

And maybe that’s exactly the conversation we need to start having.

Maybe it's just me. Or maybe it's something more of us are quietly carrying. What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. 🤍

If this made you feel a little less alone, then this space is already becoming what I hoped it would.

I'm building The Girl Nook into a place for honest conversations about life, growing up, relationships, and everything we're all quietly figuring out together.

I’d love for you to stick around.

Subscribe below to join the conversation. 🤍

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I’ve wanted to build something like The Girl Nook for a long time. It was five or six years ago that I decided I wanted to create a safe space on the internet for the modern-day woman, and ‘The Girl Nook’ felt like the perfect name for that.

It felt like I was really going through it at the time. It was the height of the pandemic and I was just feeling so… alone. I was approaching 30, so on top of the uncertainty the whole world was feeling, I was panicked that I’d just spent the last years of my 20s sitting at home, baking banana bread, learning how to assemble IKEA furniture by myself and fully focusing on my career because it felt like it was all I had at the time.

My closest friends were in totally different phases of life. So as much as they were there for me and me for them, I felt like they couldn’t fully relate to what I was feeling. Some were having their first child, others were getting married. I was busy working and crying over the latest guy who had ghosted me on Tinder because I was only just learning to navigate my anxious attachment style and what that really meant.

So I purchased thegirlnook.com domain. I even put together a list of content categories and things I wanted to write about. But then I chickened out. It felt like it would get too personal, and I also just got really busy trying to live life.

But the feeling that I really want to do this never really left me. I even spent some time posting content on Instagram last year and built a small community on there, some of whom I’m still in touch with. But Instagram didn’t feel like the right primary home for this. I want to write and communicate with a community of women. I want to create a place where we can land, read something and think, “omg, so it’s not just me!”

I want to talk about the real stuff: what it’s like to be single in your early 30s and be convinced you’re going to be alone forever, only to find out that’s not the case and have to adjust to being in a relationship and living with someone after so many years alone. There are so many questions we all ask ourselves and so many thoughts that go through my head that I wonder, “does anyone else think this too?” Like, when is it too late to have a baby? Have I spent too long focusing on my career and not fully living? How on earth am I supposed to work out 3-4 times a week, walk 10k steps a day, go to work, grow my side passion project, do the house renovation, read that book I so desperately want to get into but fall asleep two pages in every night and buy clothes that fit me because suddenly, last summer’s outfits are all just a little too tight?

I want to discuss the fun stuff too! Like how I didn’t think I’d be into fantasy books, how I’m secretly waiting for pictures from Taylor Swift’s wedding to pop up on my feed this weekend and how I’m tragically hooked on Pokemon Go again. As you can probably tell from that one sentence, my interests are so wide and varied, some are stereotypical and some aren’t.

For a lot of my life, I felt like I didn’t fully fit in anywhere, like I never really fit a particular mould. And for so long, I let that limit me. But now I’ve learnt there’s so much power in being different, and that I have so much to share and also so much left to learn.

So, welcome to The Girl Nook. If any of this resonated, follow along and welcome in.

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